Grammar Fun: Common Usage Errors, Part IV

Welcome to my series on common usage errors in our wonderful language. Think about what it's like when you're looking into the night sky, looking for that first blinking star, and it takes some time to find it; however, once you do see it, you can't "unsee" it. That first star is forever in the corner of your eye, at least until other stars join the party. The same is true of the English language. If you know a grammar rule, and if you can remember it, you'll see it used incorrectly all over the place: like movies, television, books, and hip social networking status updates.

Farther/Further: I see or hear this mistake way more than I should--And you can too if you're looking for it! Just remember, farther is used when you are talking about an actual physical distance. Further is figurative and abstract. When used incorrectly, further is almost always used when farther would have been correct--I rarely see it mistaken the other way around.

• Easy examples: "Zeus can kick a chicken farther than Hera." (Uh oh: Am I saying the couple has chicken-kicking contests, or does Zeus try booting Hera off of the clouds? It's either a carnival or an abusive relationship. A "can" after Hera would fix this, but I like the ambiguity.) "Paul needs to explain himself further if he wants people to understand his obsession with rare, Tolkien-inspired tea sets."
• Scary example: "Furthermore, we find the defendant guilty of further exploiting the good citizens of Rhode Island by his attempt to separate the state farther from the mainland than it already is."

Gibe/Jibe: These words are pronounced the same, so try saying it out loud. Really, try it. It's fun, I promise. Gibe is a noun, and is synonymous with insult. Jibe is a verb, and means "to agree, be in accord or harmony."

• Easy examples: "That Francis would aim such a gibe regarding my clumsiness greatly saddens me; I'd punch him in the face if I hadn't fallen down this man hole." "Johan's acceptance into the strange cult did not jibe with his parents' values, as they were members of an enemy cult."
• Scary example: "Despite Ian's jive gibe at Theo's potbelly, their friendship continued to jibe."

Grisly/Grizzly/Grizzled: This one can also be a lot of fun. If something is grisly, it is horrifying or gruesome. Grizzly, while also being a bear, means "grayish"; however, gray hair on people would be described as grizzled.

• Easy examples: "My fish's grisly murder at the fins of his brother caused me to eat the latter with an intense gusto." "The grizzly clouds promised rain." "Cleo has been praying for a grizzled beard since he was five and wanted to be the next Santa Claus.
• Scary example: "The grizzled mountain man faced the grisly, grizzly bear (Ursus arctos horribilis) and his grizzly hedgehog companion." (See Figure 4.1). Notice the fun fact I just discovered: grisly is so closely related to grizzly that "horribilis" is included in the Latin name of the G-Bear.

Harebrained: Because of its connection to the easily startled animal, something that is harebrained is "rash, badly though out, foolish, reckless." Do not use hairbrained, as that could be a serious medical condition, and we must be sensitive to such possibilities.

• Easy example: "Hal's harebrained scheme to take over the world forgot to consider Earth's circumference; therefore, only half of the world's population was turned into turtles."
• Scary example: "The harebrained doctor attempted surgery, despite the patient's hairbrain, and the results were catastrophic."